Thursday, April 30, 2015

Relaxation vs. Guilt

Now Playing: LIGHT & SHADOW by Philip Wesley
Just Read: THE TIGER'S WIFE by Tea Obreht--A cool magical realism book; I loved the parts the grandfather told. The present moment parts weren't as good but overall I enjoyed the story and writing.

I haven't been writing much at all these past two weeks. I mean hardly a word at all. But I feel like I have a pretty good reason: I WAS IN DISNEY WORLD!!

It really is the most magical place on Earth to me. The Disney stories were the ones I grew up on and fell in love with, the ones that made me seek adventures and use my imagination. In Epcot there's a fireworks show called Illuminations; the first time I saw it I was ten years old, and it heavily influenced me toward being a writer. A fireworks show! Who knew such a thing could have that kind of power.

It's not much different for me as a 25-year-old. Disney. Is. Awesome. Looking around at all the marvels and being a part of the magic just drops story ideas into my head like nothing else. And it makes me want to create.

Here's the problem: While I'm on vacation, I don't really do anything related to work. I mean, maybe I'll study by the pool. I'll read. But writing takes a lot of energy, and on vacation all my energy is geared toward the fun I'm having.

Now that vacation's over, two weeks have gone by and I haven't finished the story I started before I left, and tomorrow is May, so I'm behind on my April W1S1 goal. I hate being behind on my goals. HATE IT. Especially lately, because lately I've felt that I haven't been doing all I can to get my stories out there and published. I have a lot of good ideas and not a lot of great stories on paper. I need to change that. I NEED TO. It eats at me, but should I really feel bad for enjoying my vacation to the max? It's a battle: Relaxation vs. Guilt.

Ultimately I think relaxation wins, and here's why: The vacation was awesome and I had a great time and don't regret a bit of it. What irks me is the time I wasn't producing fiction. But that feeling also lights a fire under me, makes me wanna jump back into it full force and energized. So in that sense relaxing on vacation is potentially good for my productivity--if I harness this energy and turn it into some feverish working, ride the wave of hard work that follows vacation like a rubber band rebounding, then I can get some serious work done.

Moral of the story: I should go on more vacations.